


Fuck the Police (Joker x Reader)

by orphan_account



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types, Joker (DCU) - Fandom, Joker - Fandom, The Dark Knight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:27:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22287097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You know that scene in The Dark Knight when Joker is dressed up like the cop and its the only time we see him without the makeup? Basically self indulgent smut! Joker fucks you as a cop. Thats it! Enjoy!
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/You, Joker/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

Tapping your foot nervously, you cast your eyes down the alley again. So far so good. Your part was easy. Just keep a lookout, and if there was any trouble, deal with it. When he said, “deal with it,” he had pushed a knife into your hand, dark eyes imploring you to be safe, saying the words he would never say out loud.

The knife, heavy in your jacket pocket was so far unused. Although the whole town is looking for suspicious characters in every dark corner of Gotham today, you do not fit the suspect bill. Wearing respectable clothes, cheeks blushing, eyes wide, you look like the picture of innocence.

The door behind you opens and Henchman Number 3 pokes his head out. “Anything?”

“Nothing.” He grunts his response to you, and motions with a nod for you to come in.

Stepping into the back hallway of the under construction apartment building Henchman Number 3 leads you to a freight elevator. Slumped along the back is a pile of men, stripped to their underwear.

_ Dead or knocked out _ , you impassively think.

“Knocked out. They’ll wake up in about an hour, confused and scared.” He remarks as if reading your mind.

“And the big man himself?” You change the subject. Usually you avoid any conversation with “associates”, but Number 3 has always been a little chatty. Annoyingly.

“Upstairs.”

“Good. When we get there, be a dear and give us some privacy. We have important _business_ to talk about.” Eyebrows raised, you hope he picks up the subtext.

“Whatever you say boss.” One of the men behind you groans, and rolling your eyes, you pull the gun from the waist band of Number 3’s pants, and hit the groaning man with the back end.

“Knocked out my ass.” You mumble shoving the gun into Number 3’s chest.

___

Ushered into an empty corner apartment, the door slams behind you. You can hear mindless muttering coming from the bathroom.

“Honey I’m home.” You call out, tip toeing through the vacant room.

Making eye contact with Joker in the mirror you are shocked to find him bare faced.

“And who do we have here?” Crossing your arms and leaning against the door frame you flirtatiously look him up and down. Dressed in dark blue dress pants and an unbuttoned white shirt, Joker adjusts the belt dangling off his waist. 

“Officer Swine reporting for duty.”

You chuckle, rolling your eyes. “Cute.”

“Any hiccups downstairs?” He moves on to button his shirt.

Shaking your head no, you step into the bathroom and place the knife near the sink. Batting his hands away, you help him with the shirt, your fingers brushing softly against his skin.

You don’t want to admit it, but seeing Joker’s makeup-less face made your heart skip a beat. Usually painted and repainted with grimy greasepaint, you almost never see him with the mask off, as it were. Sometimes you caught glimpses here or there, when he was shaving, or after he showered. But never for a long time. This is truly a first.

“Are you looking at my scars?” He asks, self consciously flicking his tongue across his lips.

“And if I was, what about it? What are you going to do, arrest me?”

Joker grabs your wrist and holds it tight behind you back. You gasp at the slight pain, but your mocking smile never wavers. “Ouch.” You taunt, his dark eyes flashing as you defiantly stare up at him.

Licking his lips, stained a muddy pink from his makeup, he pauses to fix his hair, running a hand through his stringy green locks.

“Careful now.” Releasing your arm, he turns back to the mirror to finish dressing. Pulling on cotton white gloves and the heavy ornamental jacket, he could almost pass as an ordinary Gotham police. Almost.

Strangely repulsed and strangely attracted, you find yourself feeling a familiar warmth spreading through your body. It had been your intention to fuck him for good luck, but something about the uniform…

“I didn’t know you liked pork.” Joker turns to look at you over his shoulder. Blushing and shaking your head embarrassed, he grabs your waist and pulls you in between him and the counter.

Leaning down he noisily snorts into your neck, oinking like a pig and nipping at your skin.

“Stop, stop!” You laugh, weakly pushing against his chest. He stops, lips hovering just above your pulse point. His gloved hands tighten their grip on your waist, his tongue passes gently over your quickening pulse.

Sighing and bringing a hand up to tangle with his hair you hold him closer. You breathe heavier, his tongue and lips sucking deliciously on you. He kisses a trail to your jaw and across your cheek finally roughly pressing his lips against yours, teeth scraping against your bottom lip.

You moan into him. Passionately you feel each other’s bodies. Joker’s hands tug your jacket off and find their way under your shirt. The soft material of the gloves tickles your stomach. Although he just went through great pains to dress, you start working on his jacket’s buttons, popping them open with urgency.

Pulling away, Joker looks at you, panting, lips wet. “You say ‘fuck the police’ so much, I’m starting to think this has always been a little fantasy of yours.” His Cheshire cat grin curls over his face taunting you.

Unsure of what to say, you hold his eye contact, and begin to massage him over his pants. “Having a little trouble here?” You ask, mock pouting at his seeming lack of arousal.

Joker grabs your wrists again, and turns you around. Pushing you forward towards the counter, your hips hit the ledge. You lean forward at the impact, and Joker takes the opportunity to fit himself directly behind you. With his lap pressed snuggly against you, and your left arm twisted tightly on your lower back, you can’t help but laugh at how real life cop he looks.

“Are you sure you aren’t really a narc? You’re too good at this.”

Ignoring your comment, “You just assaulted a police officer.” His voice sing-songs in your ear. “That’s very bad behavior.”

Exhilarated at his commitment to character, you slowly push your hips backwards, grinding against his now hardening erection. Joker pulls his right hand glove off with his teeth, and you hate to admit it but the action peaks your arousal even more. You can feel lustful wetness dampening your panties.

Tugging on your shirt and kissing along the exposed skin at your shoulder his hands slip down your hips to unbutton your pants. You close your eyes. Pressing your back to him, your breathless sighs encourage him on, hands slipping down, and even further down, until…

Gasping, you open your eyes to meet his as Joker’s strong fingers stroke your wet center. Collecting your arousal, he circles your sensitive clit applying varying amounts of pressure as he goes around and around. Pushing yourself up, you lean your head back to rest on his chest and he continues to explore your sensitive skin. With his other still gloved hand he feels up and down your body, stopping to grasp your breasts or to trace the swell of your hips.

He looks at you, mischievous in the mirror. Your eyes half closed, cheeks flushed, your mouth opens to prettily whimper as he increases the pace of his fingers working between your legs.

“I think you’ve been a very bad girl.” He says, momentarily pausing to sloppily nip at your neck. “And do you know what we pigs do to bad girls?” 

“What do you do to bad girls?” You breathlessly ask, rocking your hips against his slowed hand.

“We reprimand them.” Pushing you over onto the counter yet again, you catch yourself, shocked at the sudden position change. Tugging your pants down, he shoves his knee between your leg, forcing your legs wider.

Bent over the sink, he rotates between gently caressing your ass and spanking you. You jump a little at each unexpected smack, his wicked laugh punctuating each slap.

Moaning filthy words, you encourage him. The nastier the sentence the harder the spank, and your knees shake as his hand comes down over you. Joker breathes heavily, his tongue lolling suggestively over his bottom lip.

Stopping he watches you in the mirror. Your rumpled shirt is pushed up around your chest. Small bruises dart across your neck. Rosy cheeks give you a look of innocence you both know you lack.

Unzipping his pants he takes his dick out, stroking himself, watching you. His face relaxes as he pleasures himself. Taking his lead, you reach your hand down and feel yourself. Sinfully wet, you spread your arousal around whimpering as your fingers pass over your throbbing clit. Closing your eyes at the sensation, you slowly build up speed and pressure, moaning as desire washes over you.

Joker watches you, suddenly feeling left out of your enjoyment. Inching himself closer, he rubs the tip of his cock against your dripping entrance. Biting your lip, you push your hips backwards and slowly sink onto him. His cock spreading you makes your mouth water. His low moan vibrates through you.

Placing one hand on your back and the other on your hip, Joker begins to fuck you. His cock slipping deeply into you. Gasping as you feel him deep in your stomach, you watch as the lust plays out across his face. He bites his lip as he thrusts into you. He closes his eyes as you meet him, your pussy squeezing him as he pulls out. His breathing turns to quick pants as he picks up the pace, gripping at your soft skin. Your pussy pulsates with desire. Each stroke leaves you feeling full, his cock hitting you in all the right places.

You arms begin to tire and you push yourself off the counter, turning your body. Joker looks at you confused, a sudden and rare flash of worry across his scarred face. Sitting on the counter facing him, you spread your legs for him, looking devastatingly sensual. The movement has the desired effect.

Joker kneels in front of you, his face close to your heat. Kissing down your inner thigh, you shiver, anticipating the feeling of his tongue playing with your clit.

Looking up at you, he licks a hot stripe along your center. With his breath against your sensitive skin and his tongue gently massaging you, you feel an orgasm building. Feeling your heart beating in your pussy, Joker sucks salaciously at your clit. Your arousal smears across his face. Grabbing at your tits, your play with your nipples over your shirt as he continues his assault against your dripping core.

Finally, as Joker’s fingers curl upwards inside of you, you feel electricity uncoiling throughout your body. In a glorious flash of heat your orgasm rolls over you.

Satisfied with his work, Joker stands and pushes into you. Pulling him closer with your legs you hold him tightly as he fills you over and over. His hand against the mirror, your breathing echoes in the empty apartment.

With a string of expletives, Joker cums, his cock throbbing into you. Panting he leans his head against yours, his hands gently cradling your face.

“And I thought I had issues.” He breathlessly whispers.

“What do you mean?” You lovingly rub his back.

“You got off from this?” Joker pulls away, motioning to his half removed cop uniform. “Nasty girl.” He shakes his finger disappointed at you.

You roll your eyes, hopping off the counter. “Shut the fuck up.” He chuckles at you, kissing you tenderly.

Getting dressed again, you help him adjust his tie and fasten his cufflinks.

“You look like an outstanding citizen.” Taking one final look at himself in the mirror, he grabs your hand and leads you out.

“Good. Now let’s go kill some piggies!” His giggles reverberate off the empty walls with shameless glee. 


	2. Fuck the Police...again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is driving the cop car when Joker escapes from jail after blowing up police head quarters?  
> or  
> Just an excuse for some Ledger Joker smut!

Your part was easy. Or so he said. You silently curse him for making his crazy plan seem so logical. He had whispered it to you in bed, with his hands running down your stomach and even further down still. He was so persuasive when he was kissing your neck, your bodies pulled so close together.

So here you are, leaned halfway through the driver side window of a cop car playing dumb tourist for him. Always for him.

“This city is just so confusing!” You laugh, a saccharine southern accent playing across your tongue.

The cop looked as homegrown midwest as you might expect. Big brown eyes, a wholesome boy-next-door, takes-his-mom-to-church-every-Sunday-smile. He was eating up your little act.

“I promise, it’s just up the road.” He smiles and looks down at his watch, and then out the window as if he was checking to see if someone was watching. “Look, I’m not supposed to do this but why don’t I just drive you there? I’m off duty soon anyways.”

Bingo.

Grasping his arm appreciatively, you accept the offer, running around to the passenger side. Once inside the car, you turn and size him up.  _ Easy he said _ , you think to yourself again.  _ Well that was a lie _ . The cop looks at you so trusting. If only he knew. Reaching over, you run your hand up his leg.

“Oh Miss…” Brown eyes nervously checks the rear-view mirror and nervously shifts in his seat. “Miss, I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

“You’re right. It’s not.” In what seems like the longest breath of your life, you grab at the gun on his hip. From your position it was an awkward move, but with surprise on your side, he does nothing to stop you. Pressing the gun into his ribs you tell Brown eyes to drive.

Pulling into a grimy back alley, you apologize and hit him over the head with the back of the gun. Four blocks from the police station and you silently pray that your timing is right. Quickly undressing poor Brown eyes, you shrug the slightly sweaty uniform on. You’re sure you look ridiculous; the too long sleeves and baggy pants do not scream law and order, but they’ll have to do. Cinching the belt as small as you can make it, you shove him with your foot out of the door and hop over to the driver side.

_ And now for the fun part.  _

_ ___ _

Parked outside the police station, you nod at the passing cops, trying to blend in.

_ Please let this timing be right. Please let this timing be right _ . You think over and over to yourself. So much of the plan depended on the timing.

“So, then I’ll ask for my phone call, and the phone will ring and boom! That’s how I’ll get out.” His lips trailed down your chest, his fingers slowly circled your dripping core. 

“And then what?” You asked breathlessly.

“That’s where you come in.”

That’s how he explained it. As an easy three step plan that just happened to be highly time sensitive. Nervously you adjust and readjust the rearview mirror.

The explosion echoes out over the street. Chaos as officers and secretaries pour out of the building. Heart beating fast you unlock the car doors and roll down the window looking for Joker.

Sauntering out of the building, he drags with him an extremely agitated Lao. Very casually he approaches the car window.

“Hi bunny.” You say tipping your head back to get a better look at him.

“Didn’t I tell you? Easy.” He gestures around as if he hadn’t just bombed a police station and kidnapped a billionaire. “You didn’t do anything I wouldn’t do did you?” His dark eyes squint down at you, almost daring you to say yes you did.

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell. Now get in the fucking car!”

Peeling out, the car swerves across the street skidding and screeching as you floor the accelerator. Joker sticks his head out of the window and laughs as the cops try to chase you down.

___

Although the evening had not been the simple scheme Joker promised, it was fun. You sit in Joker’s sparse “apartment”. It was really an abandoned warehouse office space with a rickety old bed and some folding chairs, but it was cozy enough to be comfortable when it was just the two of you.

Leaning back in your chair you wait for Joker to finish his “business” with Lao. Still in your pilfered cop uniform you mess with the gun pretending to shoot invisible foes lurking in the shadowy corners of the poorly lit room.

“Careful now.” Joker’s voice croaks behind you. Startled you stand and point the gun at him.

“Stick ‘em up!” You playfully command. He complies.

Smiling at each other, you feel relief that it all worked out in the end. Joker looks a little battered, his makeup smudged revealing his bruising skin underneath.

Moving to sit on the bed he grabs the chair you just vacated and pulls it towards him.

“Did you have fun today?” Your knees brush together. He unbuttons his shirt.

“Yes.” Unsure of where the conversation is going, you sit on the very edge of your seat as close to him as possible.

Patting your leg: “Good. I did too. Nothing like a little midweek bombing to get yourself in a good mood.” Joke raises his eyebrows at you. Titling his chin down, he looks up at you, hair falling into his face.

Suddenly very aware of him you inch forward. Meeting halfway, your noses bump. He smells like sweat and sulfur. You kiss, cupping his scarred face in your hands. Joker reaches for you, grasping at your waist. Still in the police uniform the clunky belt stops him from touching you the way he wants to touch you. Dark eyes burning yours, he unclasps the belt and throws it next to him on the bed.

The movement was oddly erotic and reaching out you both attempt to get as close to each other as possible. Standing up, his arm wraps around your waist and the too big pants slide off your hips. Laughing into the kiss he takes a step forward and turns, taking your seat on the old metal folding chair.

Ripping at the stiff uniform shirt, the buttons pop off and dramatically fly into unknown corners of the room. 

Straddling his lap you push the hair off his face. He plays with the stitching on the unbuttoned police shirt.

“Did you kiss him?” Joker dark eyes avoid yours, his fingers tugging at a loose string.

“Did I what?”

“Did you fuck him?”

“Did I what?” You ask, trying to make your voice stern but the question catches you off guard.

Joker’s hands ghost along your skin raising goose bumps. “I just want to know how you got the uniform.” Licking his lips, “how did you get the uniform?” The usual lilt in his voice gone, he practically growls at you.

Standing you frown at this rare emotional performance. Walking around the chair you stand behind him with your hands on his shoulders.

“Did I fuck him? You’re really going to ask me that bunny? Is that the only trick you think I have up my sleeve? Hmm?” Your grip on his shoulders tightens. He cocks his head to the side, unsure of how to answer.

The belt laying on the bed catches your eye. Just within arm’s reach is the pair of silver glistening handcuffs. Smiling to yourself, you lean in closer and place a gentle kiss just under his ear.

“I asked you a question.” You whisper, his jaw clenches and you place another kiss on his neck. Dropping your hands down his arms you grab his wrists and swiftly tug them back behind the chair. Grabbing the belt, you cuff him and stand back to admire the view.

“Now I don’t think this is fair.” Joker says, clearing his throat. “You didn’t read me my rights first.”

Moving back to stand in front of him, he looks at you with a mocking smile. “Haven’t we done this before?”

You drop to your knees and crawl forward to rest your cheek on his knee. “I think last time you were the cop.” Your eyelashes bat innocently. Pushing his legs open wider you sit snugly between his thighs; your hands rest on his hips.

Joker hums his response, gazing down at you with a look that can only be described as hungry.

“Now if I remember correctly, I think you made fun of me that day.” As you speak you undo his pants, popping the button open and slowly tugging on the zipper. “I think you called me ‘nasty’.” His tongue traces his bottom lip. “Let’s see how nasty you are.”

First you run your hand over the growing bulge in his pants. He lets out a long breath as you repeat the action. Then you lick a long stripe over him. His eyes close as your tongue drags across the fabric. Unsatisfied with his controlled reaction, you pull his clothes further down off his hips.

Taking his erection in your hand you carefully pump your hand up and down his length. Joker spreads his legs wider. Wetting your lips, you lean in and suck the tip into your warm mouth. Swirling your tongue over him, you hear Joker suppress a moan. His unusual silence spurs you on.

Lowering your mouth further onto him you press your tongue along the underside of his cock while you suck. You allow your spit to run down over his length so you can work the rest of him with your hand. Sucking and stroking him, his breathing becomes heavier. Slurping lewdly, you pull away to look up at him. Your lips are dewy with your drool and his arousal.

Joker opens his eyes and gives you a “don’t stop” look. Usually handsy when you give him blow jobs you know his lack of mobility is killing him. The look of you kneeled politely between his legs while your mouth did unbelievably filthy things to him is one of his favorite sights. He wants to reach out and wipe the spit off your lips. He wants to grab a fistful of your hair and guide his cock deeper and deeper into your throat. And you know this. And he knows you know this.

Smiling at the knowledge that he is totally at your mercy, you return your attention back to his needy cock. In the mood to tease, you begin to suck harder and faster. Finally, he audibly moans, smudged red lips falling open as you slide your mouth down his slick length. When his legs begin to shake you slow down, lazily dropping your lips around him. Leisurely you run your tongue around him.

You repeat this a few more times. His sighs and his moans get louder, his lewd noises encourage your own arousal. Shifting on your legs you attempt to relieve your growing desire. Lustful wetness pools between your legs as he practically begs you for release. But you don’t want him to cum yet. You need him to fuck you first.

Popping your lips off him with a filthy slurp, you stand and drape yourself over one of his legs. His dick quivering from your attentions, and as you slowly grind your hips over his muscular thigh, you gently pump him in your hand.

You make eye contact as you roll your hips against him. Desire filling the space between you, you watch each other slowly ascending into total pleasure. Your movements become less coordinated as the tension in your lower stomach builds. You need more.

Leaning your head forward you catch Joker’s lips. Slipping your tongue into his mouth you pull him deeper into the kiss, your hands moving to tangle with his hair. Lifting your leg over his lap entirely, you move to push your underwear out of the way so your wet pussy can rest against his thick cock.

Moaning into each other you slide yourself against him, slickening his length with your arousal. You muffle a cry as he rubs against your throbbing clit. You repeat the movement, this time unable to control vocalizing your need.

Looking at Joker with lust filled eyes, he indecently licks his lips tasting a mixture of you and him. Hitching your hips higher you slowly settle back onto his waiting dick. Dropping onto his full length you feel the fullness of him inside you. His cock stretches you in the most licentious way; you can feel him deep in your core and as you rock against him, he presses deliciously against your most sensitive spot.

You fuck slowly. You use his shoulders as leverage. He whispers indecent words of affirmation to you.

“You are nasty. Do you feel how wet you are? I didn’t even touch you and you’re dripping.” His self-satisfied smile taunts you.

“I’m nasty?” You gasp as you begin to move to a new rhythm. “Look at you. You almost came the minute I started sucking your dick. You were begging me to let you cum.” Nipping at his neck you grab his hair for leverage to fuck him harder.

The metal handcuffs rattle as he tries to move his arms. Laughing at him you ride him fast, moaning and crying out in pleasure as your orgasm builds.

Finally, with a glorious flash of electricity buzzing through your body you cum. Gasping into his neck your arousal drips down his length. Slipping off of him you collapse on the bed and catch your breath.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Joker asks, sounding a little annoyed.

You sit up and look at him confused.

“I haven’t…finished yet.” He states looking at you expectantly.

Shaking your head you go back over to him. “See what I mean. Begging.” You kiss him again and then drop back to your knees. Taking him back into your mouth you taste yourself on his cock. You slurp and suck, working him with your hand and tongue. It doesn’t take long to finish him off, and when he cums it drips down your chest like ice.

Both recovering from your heightened states you look at each other and laugh. His makeup is almost completely smudged off. Your neck is peppered with bruising kiss marks.

“I think it’s time you let me go.” Joker says stretching his shoulders back.

Looking around the room you find the belt thrown almost under the bed.

“I don’t have the key.”

Joker looks at you and dryly laughs. “Very funny. Now let me out.” He shakes his arms against the constraints, the handcuffs clanging against the metal of the folding chair.

You try to stop the smile from spreading across your face.

“No really I don’t have the key.”

Joker gives you a look that would make anyone else scared. Your smile turns into a giggle and the giggle into a full blown laugh as you watch him struggle to free himself of your trap. 


End file.
